Last night was the worst night of my life. It was my first time to actually see a patient die in front of me. The moment I saw her I instantly thought that she's gone. I tried taking her blood pressure but I couldn't hear a thing. I tried checking her heart rate but there was no beat. She was cold and clammy and I could not face her family who was standing around me. I quickly called the doctor and told my superiors about her. Few minutes after, the sadden face of the attending physician emerged from the room, and my fear was confirmed.
At that same moment, I was having my own personal battles. I was fighting a losing battle with the only guy that I have loved for almost eight years. Thankfully, that I was assigned in the NICU after that so I had the chance to let my tears fall. I so wanted to go home and snuck into the warm sheets of my bed and sleep this blues away. I don't want to wake up. A great sorrow creeps all over me. I am lost...Really lost right now. I have no idea where to start again. I wish I was strong enough to endure to this lost and great pain.
This is the end of my happy ending...
3 comments:
How do you recover from an extraordinary loss? Take stock of the loved ones around you. Hug them, love them, and cherish them. When you appreciate the joys in your life, it makes sorrow that much easier to swallow. Every day is a new day. Hope floats, so let it rise. God is love. ~ Joseph Simmons~ Hugz!
That is such a wonderful thing to say...It will take a long while before I could get back to my own life. This is all too new for me and to painful.
Be stronger Em, I believe that you can make it. Should you need an extra someone to listen, I'm never a pm away. Take care of yourself, you will still have your happy ending/s in this game called "crazylife", win it! God is always with you. My prayers & love. Hugz!
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