REASON FOR LIVING/LEAVING
Just had my last day of duty yesterday. Ironic that on my very last day, I was all alone. The hospital was cutting down on staff as there was a decrease in census due to the past Lenten holiday. I had the entire MS ward all to myself. I was handling 2 long term patients. One was suffering from lung cancer st. IV and the other was a post-CVA patient. Both required me to spend a lot of time with them with all the feedings, turning schedules, cleaning up and medicating stuff. I tried to enjoy my last day being on duty. After the 8-hour shift, I endorsed 4 patients and quietly bid my colleagues goodbye. No sadness just optimism that I know we will all be seeing each other again.
I decided to take a rest from the nursing world. Making that decision had been difficult for me as I had to consider a lot of things, after all, this was my life...my future at stake here. I asked several friends and took all their given opinions with great consideration. I was experiencing a burn out from the hospital. I feel that there weren't enought benefits for nurses. We were overworked and underpaid. What made the decision of leaving harder was I came to enjoy the company of my colleagues there. We were all like a family, that despite the very little salary we get the relationship was really to be treasured. I could never have found such better colleagues in them. I know that some would want to be in my position to be practicing my profession as some even have to pay the hospital just for the experience. But I had to go out, I know that there is more for me out there. simply waiting to get discovered and experienced. I had to move out of my comfort zone and try to live out my life. I had to get out of the box, see and feel the world that I have been missing out.
I will try to excel in this quest that I am about to pursue on...until then. Being an RN doesn't stop when I resign...it will forever be instilled in my heart.
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